you have to put in the work to find the right people.

last night, i was at a fireside chat with an investor, and something he said stuck with me.

he was talking about how you have to put in the work for everything in life, including finding the right people.

suppose you're looking for a cofounder. maybe you have a friend from college who shares your ambitions, or someone you've known for years who seems like a great fit.

you should ask yourself: how am i so lucky that the best possible cofounder for me just happens to be someone i already know?

what are the odds?

there are billions of people in the world, and somehow, the person who's best suited to build something with you just happens to attend the same university or be part of your friend group?

the same applies to dating. what are the odds that the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with just happens to live in your city, or be someone you met at a party?

no, you're just not that lucky. you're probably wrong.

i think that's something i need to remind myself more often.

it's easy to convince yourself that you've found exactly what you're looking for when the answer is already right in front of you. you want to believe you've gotten lucky, because that means you can stop looking.

i've made that mistake before, and i've learned how expensive it can be to assume that something is right simply because it feels convenient.

i think i'd be much better off going through life assuming i'm not that lucky.

if i want to find an exceptional cofounder, i should expect to meet hundreds of people before finding the right one. if i want to find the right partner, i should make an effort to meet more people and get to know them.

the same applies to finding friends, mentors, and anyone else who could have a meaningful impact on my life.

of course, sometimes you do get lucky. the right person might already be in front of you. but that's an extraordinary assumption to make when you've barely looked.

and the more important the decision, the more work you should be willing to put into it.

i want to start questioning my own luck a lot more. whenever something seems like an unusually convenient answer, i should ask myself whether i've actually searched enough to know.

because the assumption that i'm not that lucky forces me to search harder, meet more people, and do the work.

and i'd be much better off thinking that way.